I’m sat here on my tod, absolute zilch is on TV, what am I watching? The Christmas Clause on Movie Mix, what’s that? A terrible Christmas film and slightly apt for how I’m feeling at the moment.
I returned to work a few weeks ago, which is why I’ve been MIA. Mixing work and everything else that needs to be done is no easy feat.
Ok , The Christmas Clause, it’s about a mother (Lea Thompson) who is also a Lawyer, she meets Father Christmas and because she’s having a bad day wishes she’d pursued her career over having children. It then goes on to give her a taste of her life without her family etc. Bloody ridiculous, making mothers feel guilty for daring to think and possibly imagining their life without children on days when the three year old is voming everywhere, the six year old refuses to do anything she’s told and the nine year is having a teenage meltdown. Show me one working mother who has never fleetingly had this feeling? Followed by immense guilt of not spending enough time with their children? Followed again with not fully committing to the job they’re paid to do? I would say Hollywood has seriously messed up but the film is on Movie Mix so Hollywood can’t be to blame, I am, for watching Movie Mix…..rant over.
I take my hat off to those who’ve been working with two children in tow. I’ve now developed a new friend, I call him “Spack Eye” or more commonly known as a twitch. Spack eye comes to say hello at least five times a day when I’m working, he’s very friendly like that, his little friend “Starry Eye” has also made an appearance. She isn’t as friendly, only once a day does she pop into vision to say “good day” but she demands all my attention when she’s around, she’s more toddler like.
My top tips for dragging my ass through the day without collapsing in a heap at the end before the children in bed are:
- Drink water, lots of it. Keep coffee to a minimum…unless you’re desperate, I’m desperate….a lot.
- Buy enough school clothes to last the week, wash it on a Sunday and hang up straight away to prevent the need for ironing. Don’t waste precious hours doing stuff you don’t need to do.
- Use TV to distract the children whenever possible to complete admin/get work done/have a cup of tea.
- Give up trying to make stuff, school nativity, don’t make the damn costume, BUY IT, don’t make biscuits/cakes for the school fair, BUY IT, don’t make dinner from scratch, pasta and pesto is two minutes, moral of the story, if you can, BUY IT, DON’T MAKE IT!
- Relish the walk into work at 7am, it’s quiet, few people around to hold you up, able to walk at a normal pace, all of the above pleases me greatly.
- When Spack Eye says hello, ignore him.
- When Starry Eye says hello, sit down and give her some attention, if you don’t, be warned, she may send you to the floor, then you’ll look like a twat.
- Don’t let work stress you out, you can’t change it, the workload will still be there if you stress or not, embrace the challenge, just remember, if you can deal with a hormonal two year old throwing a tantrum about being given the wrong spoon you can deal with anything anyone else throws at you, quite literally <reminises about the time a fax machine was thrown in my direction at work>.
- Get a cleaner, I haven’t yet but my New Years resolution is to have a clean house, I won’t be the one doing the cleaning.
As I’m typing I’ve just received an e-mail about the school fair, more volunteers are needed <wants to cry at the thought of having to do that as well>, I’m learning to say “no”, I’m going to have to if I’ve any chance of getting myself and family to the end of the week in one piece, an exhausted mummy quite frankly makes a miserable family……in this household anyway.
So I’m going to continue my life of working part time, feeling like I’m not doing either job properly. I’m starting to come to terms with this, it’s not easy when all I want to do is stay at home and look after my children, mixed with having trained for four years with a Masters degree but hey….give me a few months and I’ll love being work, I won’t have to deal with Evie’s teenage like meltdowns or tell Bertie to put his shoes on for the millionth time. It’s going to be bliss <keeps thinking of the money which can be spent on pretty NOT useful things>.