Chuck her the iPad…

I sleep terribly.

On an average night I wake up 3 times. And at least one of those wake-ups is more than 20 minutes long. I don’t have a newborn but right now, if I had one, at least I’d feel more productive and like I was actually doing something with that time.

And then at 5am, like the most regular, efficient and on-time alarm clock, a little voice calls out..

“Mummy, is it time to get up yet?”

“No it’s not, it’s still night time. Is the sun up on your clock?”

“No. But I’m awake. Do you want huggies? Shall we talk? Can I get into your bed?”

“No Emmie. We shan’t talk. Go back to sleep. Now”

So I regaled this story to Amy on Saturday night. Whilst we were watching Ant and Dec. Did you see it? It was hilarious.



I told Emmie all about my plan last night. How I was going to put the iPad next her bed for when she woke up. And if the sun was up, she could get it and watch a film until I got up.


Epic fail. Thanks Amy. I know you were trying to help but it kind of went like this..

“Mummy, the sun’s not up. Can I watch a movie?” Emmie is all-American and thinks the word film is ridiculous.


“Mum, the sun’s up. I can’t make the iPad turn on. What’s the number again? Don’t worry I’ve done it”

<<patter of feet, then a nudge in my head>>

“Mum, I can only get Mummy TV. I can’t find my movies”

“FFS (under my breath naturally) Emmie, here they are”

15 minutes later

“Emmie it’s time to get up”

“No Mum (which sounds suspiciously like Mom these days), I’m watching Cinderella”

And so I created a different problem that I didn’t need on a Monday morning. She wanted to stay in bed.

Help a girl out. How can I make her leave me alone in the morning? I feel like I haven’t slept since 2010. And my coffee habit has made my teeth a very pretty shade of daffodil yellow!

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