What’s your love language?

The 5 love languages

Most of us have heard of the book, The 5 Love Languages, but has anyone else actually read it?

The 5 love languages

I won it recently so thought I’d give it a go. You know in all that spare time I have these days. But, it’s short, has a big font and very easy to read. The chapters are concise and to the point and there’s no pointless waffle. I really enjoyed it.

The timing worked out well too as I started it just as James returned after nearly half a year away. The end of a deployment is such a mixed time for emotions. On the one hand, there’s no enforced sole parenting any more but on the other, there’s someone else in your space. Taking up energy, oxygen and making a mess. There’s generally a period of readjustment, regardless of the strength of a marriage.

So by page 117, I learnt that the 5 love languages are:

  1. Words of affirmation
  2. Quality time
  3. Receiving gifts
  4. Acts of service
  5. Physical touch

I love presents so automatically assumed that #3 would be mine. Nope. Utterly wrong. It’s actually #4; acts of service. And James’s is #2; quality time. So in essence, we speak completely different love languages and have to make a gargantuan effort to fill each other’s love tanks. Yes we all have a love tank. It sounds absolutely cringeworthy as I write it, but when you read it, genuinely, I promise you, you’ll be nodding in agreement!

Alarm Clock

So we’ve both been making a concerted effort and it’s totally paid off. James has been helping more and more around the house with stuff I really dislike doing. That is the best feeling of love any stay at home/work at home mum could ask for in my opinion. Like sweeping up the mess after dinner without me having to utter a word. And I, in turn have been prioritising spending some time with just him. I’ve got up at 5am this week so we can exercise together. And tonight we’re having the second movie night of the week. I hate films so that’s real true tank-filling love in my book!

 

 

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